How to Outsmart Your Preteen (Without Losing Your Mind)

Ever feel like your preteen was sent by the universe to test your patience? Surprise! You’re actually in Jedi training—except instead of wielding a lightsaber, you’re dodging epic eye rolls and “Ugh, whatever” responses.

But fear not! Positive Intelligence, PQ Sage powers can help you handle this.

The Game Plan: Step-by-step strategies

✅ Empathy Power: Their world is wild—TikTok trends, friend drama, mood swings. Acknowledge their reality. (“I get it, school does suck sometimes.”)

✅ Explore Power: Instead of reacting to the attitude, ask, “What’s really going on here?” Stress? Lack of sleep? A friend issue? Dig deeper when you’re calm—your tone makes all the difference.

✅ Innovate Power: Get creative with consequences. My daughter lost car privileges and got assigned dog poop duty. But guess what? I helped her scoop, and we ended up having a real convo. (Gross bonding, but I’ll take it!)

✅ Navigate Power: Anticipate the sass. Breathe before the attitude storm hits. Ask yourself: Am I sweating the small stuff? Will this matter in 5 years? Yes—if it’s about safety or long-term impact. No—if it’s about a dish left next to the sink.

✅ Activate Power: Keep your own energy in check. More PQ reps = less reacting, more responding with empathy and curiosity. Can you bring humor to the situation?

Win & Challenge:

✨ Win: Try one of these strategies this week and notice any shift. Need more guidance? Try this script:

Script:

“I can tell you’re stressed because you know not to raise your voice at me. Is something bothering you—school, friends, sleep? (Keep them talking). I know that’s tough, but you know the rules, and as we discussed, your consequence is X. Do you want to do it tonight or tomorrow?” (Giving options can help avoid more conflict!)

❌ Challenge: Catch yourself before the reactive “Because I said so!” slips out. And if it does apologize and ask for a do-over. It works for me! 

May the Sage Powers be with you.